I wrote a dialogue called Listenin’ To The Birds. This is a large section from it.

Lewis: Your right. I mean all we do is post our spare thoughts digitally, and listen to the brain leaks of other people we have deemed to be superior.

Paul: We listen to the voices we admire.

Lewis: (Dejected) Damn right.

Paul: I wish I could be one of those people.

Lewis: What?

Paul: I said I wish I could be one of those people. You know, who decide what is cool, what is rubbish, where to go, and how to be dressed when you go there.

Lewis: I think you’re making more sense than your allowed to…

Paul: What do you mean?

Lewis: Basically, what you’re saying is, why we become the gods of the internet. Why don’t we put on our gloves and step into the ring.

Paul: What are you talking about?

Lewis: Well, we could become the sort of people who tell other people what to do. With a little planning, a little brain energy we could basically become fountains of cultural importance.

Paul: You mean tell people where to go?

Lewis: And what to have for the fish course when they get there.

Paul: That’s genius.

Lewis: and its achievable, that’s what separates us from the other genius’ that might have actually come up with a product. All we need is our own brain power and the initiative.

Paul: Right, ok… but how we going to do this?

Lewis: What are you talking about?

Paul: Well, I’m sure there must be hundreds of people who started websites and twitters and stuff, all with the intention of telling other people what to do. If they didn’t achieve, how are we expect to?

Lewis: That’s a point… (pause while he things) how many people follow your baseless musings?

Paul: I don’t know… (checking and sounding disappointed) about fifty thousand.

Lewis: FIFTY THOUSAND!

Paul: Yeah well, I did one of those follower exchange programmes, you listen to someone, they listen to you. My messages have fifty thousand people listening to them, as long as I listen to theirs.

Lewis: So if we get these listeners, these tweeters, these chirping birds on our side…

Paul: We have the power of cultural gods.

Lewis: Well tell them to go somewhere…

Paul: What?

Lewis: Tell them to go somewhere. Command your legion to raid some club or bar, and I’ll relay it back to my crew on my site. A couple of thousand people listen to what I have to say, and if we bounce our digitized ideas off one another, we have a proper cult following. I mean, hell, we have people paying attention to us, and attention is all you need. John Lennon said so.

Paul: Love…

Lewis: huh?

Paul: Love. Love is all you need.

Lewis: Yeah well, Ringo narrated Thomas the Tank engine, just write something.

Paul: Right, well, I’m putting down “Guys there is a hot party down at…

Lewis: Yeah?

Paul: at…

Lewis: Yeah?

Paul: at… I don’t know.

Lewis: For Gods sake Paul. Alright, what’s that place we like over in town?

Paul: Oh that place that does the great chips… erm… The Dog and Hermit Crab.

Lewis: That’s the one, tell them it’s the place to be…

Paul: Wonderful, “Guys there is a hot party down the Dog and Hermit Crab, you‘ve have to be square not to be there.”

Lewis: Great… a little 1950’s but… great. Now, I post it on my site and…

(A pause as both look in shock and awe at their screens. They look at each other in disbelief)

Both: (together and unison): Crikey!

Lewis: I’ve got over a hundred people agreeing with me! I didn’t even know there was a party at the pub!

Paul: I’ve been retweet so many times! This is amazing, so many people have told me they’d see me there this is unbelievable!

Lewis: More people have said they like this that Christmas…or…. Or… CHOCOLATE!

Paul: I just got mentioned by Stephen Fry, that’s like getting a pat on the back by God!

Lewis: My followers have gone up by so many, my phone crashes whenever it thinks about it!

Paul: This is great! With the people who listen to you, and the people who listen to me listening to them, I am the most powerful person on Twitter!

(The two hug in an over passionate fashion)

Lewis: I have more followers than molecules!

Paul: Anything we tell people to do they will do!

(They release one another and look at each other)

Both: We’re celebrities!

Lewis: We are bastions of international fame! We are kings of the tubes! Sir, we are lords of all we see.

Paul: (looking at phone) People are actually asking us where to go!

Lewis: Tell them, tell the crowds that we decide that the promised land is…. Erm….

Paul: The Dog and Hermit Crab?

Lewis: (proudly) The Dog and Hermit Crab.

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